This is HiLL-LaRRy-uS, 366 days of jokes with silly BFF’s Hillary and Larry. Join them as they share jokes, knock-knocks, puns and more. And you’ll always find them celebrating some fun holiday!
Winner of a Parents' Choice Silver Award.
1 - Are monsters any good at math? (1 min)
April 1, 2019: April Fool's Day
2 - What type of sandwiches do sharks eat? (1 min)
April 2, 2019: National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
3 - Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party? (1 min)
April 3, 2019: World Party Day
4 - Why didn’t the poet finish her poem? (1 min)
April 4, 2019
5 - Where do dandelions send their kids to learn? (1 min)
April 5, 2019: National Dandelion Day
6 - What does Hillary say to her watch when she sees it? (1 min)
April 6, 2019
7 - Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the gym? (1 min)
April 7, 2019: World Health Day
8 - Why do hummingbirds hum? (1 min)
April 8, 2019: Draw a Picture of a Bird Day
9 - Knock Knock. Harry who? (1 min)
April 9, 2019: Name Yourself Day
10 - What do camels use to hide themselves? (1 min)
April 10, 2019
11 - What did the taco say to the cat? (1 min)
April 11, 2019
12 - Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? (1 min)
April 12, 2019
13 - Did you hear the joke about the peach? (1 min)
April 13, 2019: National Peach Cobbler Day
14 - How do dolphins makes a tough decision? (1 min)
April 14, 2019: National Dolphin Day
15 - Where does a cow hang her paintings? (1 min)
April 15, 2019
16 - Do you know what the librarian uses to catch fish? (1 min)
April 16, 2019: National Librarian Day
17 - Why did the vampire need mouthwash? (1 min)
April 17, 2019: Bat Appreciation Day
18 - What kind of tree gives the best high fives? (1 min)
April 18, 2019: National High Five Day
19 - What’s a penguin’s favorite relative? (1 min)
April 19, 2019
20 - Knock Knock. Spell who? (1 min)
April 20, 2019
21 - What’s a rabbit’s favorite type of music? (1 min)
April 21, 2019
22 - How can you tell if an ocean is friendly? (1 min)
April 22, 2019: Earth Day
23 - Why was the toilet paper roll worried? (1 min)
April 23, 2019
24 - Knock Knock. Doris who? (1 min)
April 24, 2019
25 - What’s Hillary's iguana’s favorite movie? (1 min)
April 25, 2019: Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day
26 - What’s a pretzel’s favorite dance move? (1 min)
April 26, 2019
27 - Which days are the strongest? (1 min)
April 27, 2019
28 - What’s a horse’s favorite sport? (1 min)
April 28, 2019
29 - What’s a King’s favorite type of weather? (1 min)
April 29, 2019
30 - Does February like March? (1 min)
April 30, 2019
31 - What time is it when a rhinoceros sits on your bed? (1 min)
May 1, 2019: Save the Rhino Day
32 - Why did it take the piano player forever to unlock his door? (1 min)
May 2, 2019
33 - How do you know when a dog is getting dressed? (1 min)
May 3, 2019: No Pants Day
34 - Why did Darth Vader cross the road? (1 min)
May 4, 2019: Star Wars Day
35 - What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? (1 min)
May 5, 2019: National Hoagie Day
36 - Why does Hillary want to check out the hotel run by witches? (1 min)
May 6, 2019: National Tourist Day
37 - Which U.S. state has the most math teachers? (1 min)
May 7, 2019
38 - Why do nurses always carry red markers? (1 min)
May 8, 2019: School Nurses Day
39 - Did you hear what the hat said to the sock when they were out for a hike? (1 min)
May 9, 2019: Lost Sock Memorial Day
40 - What do Pokemon do when they’re not listening to podcasts? (1 min)
May 10, 2019
41 - Do you know how trains prepare for a very long ride? (1 min)
May 11, 2019: National Train Day
42 - What do cats get their mothers for Mother’s Day? (1 min)
May 12, 2019: Mother's Day
43 - What does the frog eat? (1 min)
May 13, 2019: Frog Jumping Day
44 - Why did the chicken cross the road? (1 min)
May 14, 2019: Dance Like A Chicken Day
45 - Why does the basketball player like chocolate chip cookies? (1 min)
May 15, 2019: National Chocolate Chip Day
46 - How do trees browse the internet? (1 min)
May 16, 2019: Love A Tree Day
47 - What is Larry's dog’s favorite type of pizza? (1 min)
May 17, 2019: Pizza Party Day
48 - What does a triceratops sit on? (1 min)
May 18, 2019: International Museum Day
49 - Why did the golfers go to the playground? (1 min)
May 19, 2019: May 16-19 US PGA
50 - Why was the strawberry late to work? (1 min)
May 20, 2019: Pick Strawberries Day
51 - Why did the canoe cross the lake? (1 min)
May 21, 2019
52 - Why did the turkey become a drummer? (1 min)
May 22, 2019: Buy A Musical Instrument Day
53 - When does it rain quarters? (1 min)
May 23, 2019: Lucky Penny Day
54 - How do snails send each other letters? (1 min)
May 24, 2019: National Escargot Day
55 - Why did the diver fall asleep at the swim meet? (1 min)
May 25, 2019
56 - What time do astronauts eat? (1 min)
May 26, 2019: Sally Ride Day
57 - Why do bananas use sunscreen? (1 min)
May 27, 2019: Sunscreen Day
58 - Why does Hillary get extra pickles on her burger? (1 min)
May 28, 2019: National Hamburger Day
59 - What did the worm write on to write a letter? (1 min)
May 29, 2019: Learn About Composting Day
60 - What do you get when you plant kisses? (1 min)
May 30, 2019: Water A Flower Day
61 - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? (1 min)
May 31, 2019
62 - What did the ancient Romans use to cut string? (1 min)
June 1, 2019: Flip a Coin Day
63 - What’s Dracula’s favorite fruit? (1 min)
June 2, 2019
64 - Pete and Repeat went on a hike. Pete got lost. Who was left? (1 min)
June 3, 2019: Repeat Day
65 - What’s Frankenstein’s favorite snack? (1 min)
June 4, 2019: National Cheese Day
66 - What’s the difference between weather and climate? (1 min)
June 5, 2019: World Environment Day
67 - What goes BUZZZZZZ, ZZZZZUB, BUZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZUB? (1 min)
June 6, 2019: National Yo-Yo Day
68 - What kind of donut can fly? (1 min)
June 7, 2019: National Doughnut Day
69 - Why did the owl invite her friends over? (1 min)
June 8, 2019: Best Friends Day
70 - What did the rock say to the geologist? (1 min)
June 9, 2019
71 - Which seasoning is the worst at keeping secrets? (1 min)
June 10, 2019: Herb and Spices Day
72 - Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? (1 min)
June 11, 2019: National Corn on the Cob Day
73 - Did you hear about the peanut who went to space? (1 min)
June 12, 2019: National Peanut Butter Cookie Day
74 - Did you hear the joke about the dull sewing needle? (1 min)
June 13, 2019: Sewing Machine Day
75 - Do you know what comes at the end of a rainbow? (1 min)
June 14, 2019
76 - Why didn’t the circus clown ever learn to juggle? (1 min)
June 15, 2019: World Juggler's Day
77 - What’s a poop’s favorite dessert? (1 min)
June 16, 2019: Father's Day
78 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? (1 min)
June 17, 2019
79 - Why did the chef take a sushi-making class? (1 min)
June 18, 2019: International Sushi Day
80 - Why was the math book sad? (1 min)
June 19, 2019
81 - What do you call a chicken that tells jokes? (1 min)
June 20, 2019: National Bald Eagle Day
82 - Why do oranges wear sunscreen at the beach? (1 min)
June 21, 2019: Summer Solstice
83 - What’s a monkey’s favorite type of cookie? (1 min)
June 22, 2019: National Chocolate Eclair Day
84 - Where do crayons go on vacation? (1 min)
June 23, 2019: National Pink Day
85 - Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool? (1 min)
June 24, 2019: Swim a Lap Day
86 - What starts and ends with an E, but contains only one letter? (1 min)
June 25, 2019
87 - What do you do with a sick boat? (1 min)
June 26, 2019: National Canoe Day
88 - What do you call a bear that wears sunglasses? (1 min)
June 27, 2019: Sun Glasses Day
89 - What did the noodle say to the other noodle? (1 min)
June 28, 2019
90 - What are two things you can’t eat for breakfast? (1 min)
June 29, 2019: Waffle Iron Day
91 - What’s an astronomer’s favorite thing to read? (1 min)
June 30, 2019: Meteor Day
92 - Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? (1 min)
July 1, 2019: International Joke Day
93 - Why did the cow want to be an astronaut? (1 min)
July 2, 2019: World UFO Day
94 - What’s invisible and smells like carrots? (1 min)
July 3, 2019: Eat Beans Day
95 - Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? (1 min)
July 4, 2019: Independence Day
96 - What was Spiderman's job before he was a superhero? (1 min)
July 5, 2019
97 - Why do bicycles fall over? (1 min)
July 6, 2019
98 - What do you call a bear stuck in the rain? (1 min)
July 7, 2019
99 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? (1 min)
July 8, 2019
100 - Why do tigers have stripes? (1 min)
July 9, 2019
101 - Why do dragons sleep during the day? (1 min)
July 10, 2019
102 - What type of food is the bottom part of your leg? (1 min)
July 11, 2019
103 - What kind of dog makes the best magician? (1 min)
July 12, 2019
104 - How did the fry propose marriage to the burger? (1 min)
July 13, 2019: National French Fries Day
105 - What comes before tennis? (1 min)
July 14, 2019
106 - What do you call a cow that just had a baby? (1 min)
July 15, 2019: Cow Appreciation
107 - How do you know if a snake loves you? (1 min)
July 16, 2019: World Snake Day
108 - How do you make a hot dog stand? (1 min)
July 17, 2019: National Hot Dog Day
109 - What did the nut say when it sneezed? (1 min)
July 18, 2019
110 - What’s the best time to tell a lion joke? (1 min)
July 19, 2019
111 - "What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom? " (1 min)
July 20, 2019
112 - Why was the ice cream cone so bad at tennis? (1 min)
July 21, 2019: National Ice Cream day
113 - What kind of music are balloons scared of? (1 min)
July 22, 2019
114 - What did the plate say to the fork? (1 min)
July 23, 2019
115 - What happens when you wear a watch on an airplane? (1 min)
July 24, 2019: Amelia Earhart Day
116 - Why shouldn’t you tell jokes in a skating rink? (1 min)
July 25, 2019
117 - Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? (1 min)
July 26, 2019: Aunt & Uncle Day
118 - What do you call it when Larry wears cowboy clothes? (1 min)
July 27, 2019: National Day of the Cowboy
119 - Do you know when ducks wake up in the morning? (1 min)
July 28, 2019
120 - Which side of a cheetah has the most spots? (1 min)
July 29, 2019: International Tiger Day
121 - Why did the mushroom have a lot of friends? (1 min)
July 30, 2019: International Day of Friendship
122 - What do you call a fairy who needs a bath? (1 min)
July 31, 2019
123 - Did you hear the joke about the mountain? (1 min)
8/1/2019 : National Mountain Climbing Day
124 - Knock-Knock! Who's there? Theodore! Theodore who? (1 min)
August 2, 2019
125 - Why did the clown-themed restaurant have to be shut down? (1 min)
8/3/2019: National Clown Day
126 - Why was the taste of the oatmeal raisin cookie so rich? (1 min)
8/4/2019 : National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day
127 - What does a cloud wear when it rains? (1 min)
8/5/2019: National Underwear Day
128 - Why does a scientist always have fresh breath? (1 min)
8/6/2019: Fresh Breath day
129 - Knock-Knock! Who's there? Larry! Larry who? (1 min)
August 7, 2019
130 - What's a sea monster's favorite meal? (1 min)
August 8, 2019
131 - Why is a library always the tallest building in town? (1 min)
8/9/2019: Book Lover's Day
132 - Why did the camping trip seem so exhausting? (1 min)
8/10/2019: National Smore's Day
133 - What time do chickens go to sleep? (1 min)
August 11, 2019
134 - What do you call two dentists who can't agree on anything? (1 min)
August 12, 2019
135 - Did you know Larry used to be ambidextrous? (1 min)
8/13/2019 : Left Hander's day
136 - What do you call a deer with no eyes? (1 min)
August 14, 2019
137 - Why didn't the mummy go on vacation? (1 min)
8/15/2019: Relaxation Day
138 - How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? (1 min)
8/16/2019: National Tell a Joke Day
139 - Why couldn't the bee understand his friend? (1 min)
8/17/2019: National Honeybee Awareness Day
140 - How does a poet sneeze? (1 min)
8/18/2019 : Bad Poetry Day
141 - What do you call a potato that turns to the dark side? (1 min)
8/19/2019 : National Potato Day
142 - What has antlers and sucks blood? (1 min)
8/20/2019 : World Mosquito Day
143 - How do pandas keep cool in the summer? (1 min)
August 21, 2019
144 - Who leaves money when Bigfoot loses a tooth? (1 min)
8/22/2019 : National Tooth Fairy Day
145 - Why didn't the teddy bear want dessert? (1 min)
August 23, 2019
146 - What's a planet's favorite type of music? (1 min)
8/24/2019 : Pluto Demoted Day
147 - What did one toilet say to the other toilet? (1 min)
August 25, 2019
148 - Where did the dog leave its car? (1 min)
8/26/2019: National Dog Appreciation Day
149 - Knock-Knock! Who's there? Donut! Donut who? (1 min)
August 27, 2019
150 - Why did the coffee file a police report? (1 min)
August 28, 2019
151 - Why isn't there a clock in the library? (1 min)
August 29, 2019
152 - What do you call a really smart monster? (1 min)
8/30/2019: Frankenstein Day
153 - Why did the pig buy cake mix? (1 min)
8/31/2019 : International Bacon Day
154 - How many months have 28 days? (1 min)
September 1, 2019
155 - Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? (1 min)
9/2/2019: Labor Day
156 - How does a penguin build its home? (1 min)
September 3, 2019
157 - What's black and white and red all over? (1 min)
9/4/2019 : Newspaper Carrier Day
158 - Did you hear about the hungry clock? (1 min)
9/5/2019 : Be Late for Something Day
159 - How does a witch tell time? (1 min)
September 6, 2019
160 - What do you call a pony who has a cough? (1 min)
September 7, 2019
161 - Knock Knock! Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? (1 min)
9/8/2019: Grandparent's Day
162 - How do you make a teddy bear? (1 min)
9/9/2019: Teddy Bear Day
163 - Why don't cows wear flip flops? (1 min)
9/10/2019 : Sewing Machine Day
164 - Do you know why taller people are more well rested? (1 min)
9/11/2019 : Make Your Bed Day
165 - Why are cats so good at video games? (1 min)
9/12/2019 : National Video Game Day
166 - Why was the giraffe late for school? (1 min)
September 13, 2019
167 - How does a crab pay for its groceries? (1 min)
9/14/2019 : International Crabfest Day
168 - What's a hat's favorite drink? (1 min)
9/15/2019 : Make a Hat Day
169 - What did the magician say when he pulled guacamole out of a hat? (1 min)
9/16/2019 : Guacamole Day
170 - Why aren’t tubas used in country music? (1 min)
9/17/2019: International Country Music Day
171 - Why is Peter Pan always flying? (1 min)
September 18, 2019
172 - Captain, what’s a pirate’s favorite letter? (1 min)
9/19/2019: International Talk Like a Pirate Day
173 - What do you call a fake pepperoni? (1 min)
9/20/2019 : National Pepperoni Pizza Day
174 - Why did Tarzan spend so much time playing miniature golf? (1 min)
9/21/2019 : Miniature Golf Day
175 - What do you call an elephant that never washes itself? (1 min)
9/22/2019: Elephant Appreciation Day
176 - How do you fix a broken pumpkin? (1 min)
9/23/2019 : First Day of Fall
177 - What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? (1 min)
9/24/2019: Punctuation Day
178 - What’s the difference between Superman and a fly? (1 min)
9/25/2019 : National Comic Book Day
179 - Why did the Soldier flush the toilet? (1 min)
September 26, 2019
180 - How does a Yeti get to school? (1 min)
September 27, 2019
181 - Why was the bowling alley closed indefinitely? (1 min)
September 28, 2019
182 - What has four wheels and flies? (1 min)
September 29, 2019
183 - What’s a tree’s least favorite month? (1 min)
September 30, 2019
184 - What kind of tree can you grow in your hand? (1 min)
October 1, 2019
185 - What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the equipment closet? (1 min)
10/2/2019: National Janitors Day
186 - What do you call a pig who knows karate? (1 min)
October 3, 2019
187 - How many golfers does it takes to change a light bulb? (1 min)
October 4, 2019
188 - What do English teachers eat for breakfast? (1 min)
October 5, 2019
189 - What color is a burp? (1 min)
October 6, 2019
190 - Why do seagulls live by the sea? (1 min)
October 7, 2019
191 - Why did the scarecrow win an award? (1 min)
October 8, 2019
192 - What do you call cheese that’s not yours? (1 min)
October 9, 2019
193 - What did the right eye say to the left eye? (1 min)
October 10, 2019
194 - What happens when you tell an egg a joke? (1 min)
10/11/2019: World Egg Day
195 - Knock-knock! Loaf Who? (1 min)
October 12, 2019
196 - How do you make a fruit punch? (1 min)
October 13, 2019
197 - What’s the best thing to put into a pie? (1 min)
10/14/2019: National Dessert Day
198 - Where do pencils go on vacation? (1 min)
October 15, 2019
199 - How do you define a shovel? (1 min)
10/16/2019: Dictionary Day
200 - Where did the spaghetti go to dance? (1 min)
10/17/2019: National Pasta Day
201 - What party game do fish like to play? (1 min)
October 18, 2019
202 - What goes up and down but does not move? (1 min)
October 19, 2019
203 - What did the stamp say to the envelope? (1 min)
October 20, 2019
204 - Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? (1 min)
10/21/2019: National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day
205 - Why do ducks have tail feathers? (1 min)
October 22, 2019
206 - Did you hear the joke about the roof? (1 min)
October 23, 2019
207 - What did the angry customer say when he left the deli? (1 min)
10/24/2019: National Bologna Day
208 - Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom? (1 min)
10/25/2019: Frankenstein Day
209 - What did the fisherman say to the magician? (1 min)
October 26, 2019
210 - Where do animals go when their tails fall off? (1 min)
October 27, 2019
211 - What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? (1 min)
October 28, 2019
212 - What do you call an alligator in a vest? (1 min)
October 29, 2019
213 - What kind of treat is a vegetable and candy? (1 min)
October 30, 2019
214 - Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? (1 min)
10/31/2019: Halloween
215 - Where do sheep go to get their hair cuts? (1 min)
November 1, 2019
216 - What’s a kangaroo’s favorite music? (1 min)
November 2, 2019
217 - What’s the best food to eat at the beach? (1 min)
11/3/2019: National Sandwich Day
218 - What gets wet while it’s drying? (1 min)
11/4/2019: Use Your Common Sense Day
219 - Why did the geometry teacher miss school? (1 min)
November 5, 2019
220 - Why did the cantaloupe jump into the ocean? (1 min)
November 6, 2019
221 - What’s a chalkboard’s favorite drink? (1 min)
11/7/2019: Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day
222 - Why did the tongue grow up to be a fashion designer? (1 min)
11/8/2019: Tongue Twister Day
223 - What did Mars say to Saturn? (1 min)
November 9, 2019
224 - What kind of key opens a banana? (1 min)
November 10, 2019
225 - Where can you watch the National Origami Championship? (1 min)
11/11/2019: Origami Day
226 - How do stories stay warm in bed? (1 min)
11/12/2019: Young Reader’s Day
227 - Do you know what event spiders love to attend? (1 min)
November 13, 2019
228 - How do campfires have access to the internet? (1 min)
November 14, 2019
229 - What are baby potatoes called? (1 min)
11/15/2019: National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
230 - What are the best days for fast food? (1 min)
11/16/2019: National Fast Food Day
231 - What rock group has four guys who can’t sing? (1 min)
11/17/2019: National Take a Hike Day
232 - How do leaves get from place to place? (1 min)
November 18, 2019
233 - What time should you go to the dentist? (1 min)
November 19, 2019
234 - What do you say to a loud barking dog? (1 min)
November 20, 2019
235 - What did the horse say when the other horse took his food? (1 min)
11/21/2019: World Hello Day
236 - Do you know what kind of dinosaur always worries? (1 min)
November 22, 2019
237 - How does Darth Vader like his coffee? (1 min)
11/23/2019: National Espresso Day
238 - Why did the beekeeper have sticky hair? (1 min)
November 24, 2019
239 - Why did the vampire go to the doctor? (1 min)
November 25, 2019
240 - What do you call a flying skunk? (1 min)
November 26, 2019
241 - Why did the customer go on the roof of the restaurant? (1 min)
November 27, 2019
242 - What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? (1 min)
11/28/2019: Thanksgiving
243 - What animals roam the bowling alley? (1 min)
November 29, 2019
244 - How does the sky wrap a present? (1 min)
November 30, 2019
245 - What did the quiet apple say to the loud apple? (1 min)
12/1/2019: Eat a Red Apple Day
246 - What did the duck eat for lunch? (1 min)
December 2, 2019
247 - Why do you think construction workers are fun to party with? (1 min)
12/3/2019: Roof Over Your Head Day
248 - What type of shoes do mice wear? (1 min)
12/4/2019: Wear Brown Shoes Day
249 - What type of bird steals soap from the bath? (1 min)
12/5/2019: Bathtub Party Day
250 - Why did the hamburger want to be president? (1 min)
December 6, 2019
251 - How does cotton candy stay warm in the winter? (1 min)
12/7/2019: National Letter Writing Day/Cotton Candy Day
252 - What a frog’s favorite year? (1 min)
12/8/2019: Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day
253 - What kind of flower likes to sleep during the day? (1 min)
December 9, 2019
254 - What kind of car does a cool cat drive? (1 min)
December 10, 2019
255 - What do you call an old snowman? (1 min)
December 11, 2019
256 - Why did the gingerbread man go to the school nurse? (1 min)
12/12/2019: Gingerbread House Day
257 - Where do horses live? (1 min)
12/13/2019: National Day of the Horse
258 - I only know the name of the type of monkey who likes seafood. (1 min)
12/14/2019: International Monkey Day
259 - What do lawyers wear to work? (1 min)
December 15, 2019
260 - Why did the donut visit the dentist? (1 min)
12/16/2019: Chocolate Covered in Anything Day
261 - Why did the plane get all dressed up before taking off? (1 min)
12/17/2019: Wright Brothers Day
262 - What do you call a cow in a tornado? (1 min)
December 18, 2019
263 - What do evergreen trees wear to the pool? (1 min)
12/19/2019: Look for an Evergreen Day
264 - Why does the musician only perform in the winter? (1 min)
12/20/2019: Go Caroling Day
265 - Where does a snowman find the latest weather reports? (1 min)
12/21/2019: First Day of Winter
266 - What did the dreidel say when he finally found his friends? (1 min)
12/22/2019: First Day of Hanukkah
267 - Why don’t karate instructors like sad movies? (1 min)
December 23, 2019
268 - What does Jack Frost like best about school? (1 min)
12/24/2019: Christmas Eve
269 - Why is it so cold on Christmas morning? (1 min)
12/25/2019: Christmas
270 - What’s a boxer’s favorite drink? (1 min)
12/26/2019: Boxing Day
271 - How do billboards talk? (1 min)
December 27, 2019
272 - Why do dogs always know who’s calling? (1 min)
12/28/2019: National Call a Friend Day
273 - What happens when a frog parks illegally? (1 min)
December 29, 2019
274 - What do you call a pig who plays basketball? (1 min)
December 30, 2019
275 - What is a cow’s favorite holiday? (1 min)
12/31/2019: New Years Eve
276 - Where does a mathematician ring in the new year? (1 min)
1/1/2020: New Years Day
277 - How do you get a baby alien to stop crying? (1 min)
1/2/2020: National Science Fiction Day
278 - What did the king’s guard wear to bed? (1 min)
1/3/2020: Festival of Sleep Day
279 - Do you know what kind of bug loves to ride roller coasters? (1 min)
1/4/2020 National Spaghetti Day/National Trivia Day
280 - What’s a bird’s favorite game? (1 min)
1/5/2020: National Bird Day/National Whipped Cream Day
281 - Why can’t you trust a burrito? (1 min)
1/6/2020: National Bean Day
282 - How do geologists like to relax? (1 min)
1/7/2020: Old Rock Day
283 - How do you know if a chicken likes classical music? (1 min)
January 8, 2020
284 - Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? (1 min)
1/9/2020: Static Electricity Day
285 - What did the big flower say to the small flower? (1 min)
1/10/2020: National Houseplant Appreciation Day
286 - What do you call a snail on a ship? (1 min)
January 11, 2020
287 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Amish. Amish who? (1 min)
January 12, 2020
288 - How do glue sticks taste food? (1 min)
1/13/2020: National Sticker Day
289 - What did the dog waiter say to his customers when he brought out their food? (1 min)
1/14/2020: National Clean Your Desk Day/National Dress Up Your Pet Day
290 - What did the step say to the other step? (1 min)
January 15, 2020
291 - Why aren’t there clocks in the library? (1 min)
January 16, 2020
292 - What does Benjamin Franklin and a duck have in common? (1 min)
1/17/2020: Ben Franklin’s Birthday
293 - What does an English teacher love to bake? (1 min)
1/18/2020: National Thesaurus Day
294 - Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army? (1 min)
1/19/2020: National Popcorn Day
295 - Why did the DJ try to fly? (1 min)
1/20/2020: Cheese Lover’s Day/National DJ Day/Penguin Awareness Day
296 - What did the Dalmatian say after it finished lunch? (1 min)
What did the Dalmatian say after it finished lunch?
297 - What do you call 2 ears that are best friends? (1 min)
1/22/2020: Pinna’s 1st Birthday
298 - What did the evil pen say to the paper? (1 min)
1/23/2020: National Handwriting Day
299 - What did the lion say to his best friend? (1 min)
1/24/2020: National Compliment Day
300 - Why did the spider use the computer? (1 min)
1/25/2020: National Opposite Day
301 - Where do you learn to make banana splits? (1 min)
January 26, 2020
302 - What do you call a tired pea? (1 min)
January 27, 2020
303 - What did the kazoo say to its friend when he sneezed? (1 min)
1/28/2020: National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day/National Kazoo Day
304 - Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? (1 min)
1/29/2020: National Puzzle Day
305 - What did the croissant say when he was mad at his friend? (1 min)
1/30/2020: National Croissant Day
306 - What school supply is always tired? (1 min)
January 31, 2020
307 - What’s a deer’s favorite ice cream flavor? (1 min)
2/1/2020: Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day
308 - Where does a groundhog go when it’s sick? (1 min)
2/2/2020: Groundhog Day
309 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? (1 min)
February 3, 2020
310 - What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has millions of letters? (1 min)
2/4/2020: Thank a Mailman Day
311 - Why do birds make the best spies? (1 min)
February 5, 2020
312 - What do cats like to eat on a hot summer day? (1 min)
February 6, 2020
313 - Why do trains like gum so much? (1 min)
2/7/2020: Bubblegum Day
314 - What’s the best day of the week to fly a kite? (1 min)
2/8/2020: Kite Flying Day
315 - What did the pizza say when it introduced itself? (1 min)
2/9/2020: National Pizza Day
316 - What goes up when the rain comes down? (1 min)
2/10/2020: Umbrella Day
317 - What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? (1 min)
2/11/2020: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
318 - Do you know why he got his nickname, Honest Abe? (1 min)
2/12/2020: Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday
319 - Why are magicians such great students? (1 min)
February 13, 2020
320 - Hey, what did one volcano say to the other? (1 min)
2/14/2020: Valentine’s Day
321 - How does a mummy start a letter? (1 min)
February 15, 2020
322 - Where do saplings go to school? (1 min)
February 16, 2020
323 - How do you keep bagels from getting stolen? (1 min)
2/17/2020: Random Acts of Kindness Day
324 - What did the negative battery say to the other? (1 min)
2/18/2020: National Battery Day
325 - What is a monster’s favorite type of cookie? (1 min)
2/19/2020: National Chocolate Mint Day
326 - What kind of lizard always tells jokes? (1 min)
2/20/2020: Love Your Pet Day
327 - What do you call a cinnamon bun that does well in school? (1 min)
2/21/2020: Sticky Bun Day
328 - What do you call George Washington’s false teeth? (1 min)
2/22/2020: George Washington’s Birthday
329 - Why are tennis games always so loud? (1 min)
2/23/2020: Tennis Day
330 - Why don’t shrimp like basketball? (1 min)
February 24, 2020
331 - What do you get when you cross a bike and a flower? (1 min)
February 25, 2020
332 - What does Princess Ariel like to put on her toast? (1 min)
2/26/2020: Tell a Fairy Tale Day
333 - What do you call a polar bear that likes to skate? (1 min)
2/27/2020: Polar Bear Day
334 - What dinosaur has the cleanest teeth? (1 min)
2/28/2020: National Tooth Fairy Day
335 - What do surgeons perform on Leap Day? (1 min)
2/29/2020: Leap Day
336 - What do pigs put on their boo boos? (1 min)
3/1/2020: National Pig Day/National Compliment Day
337 - Which punctuation mark runs the fastest? (1 min)
March 2, 2020
338 - What is a finger’s favorite fairy tale? (1 min)
3/3/2020: If Pets Had Thumbs Day
339 - Why did the rooster cross the road? (1 min)
March 4, 2020
340 - What did the genie say to the basketball player? (1 min)
March 5, 2020
341 - How long should you put frozen fish in the microwave? (1 min)
3/6/2020: National Frozen Food Day
342 - Who is the smartest pig in the world? (1 min)
3/7/2020: National Crown Roast of Pork Day
343 - What’s a tree’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast? (1 min)
March 8, 2020
344 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? June! June who? (1 min)
March 9, 2020
345 - What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? (1 min)
3/10/2020: International Find a Pay Phone Day
346 - What tool does a mathematician always use? (1 min)
3/11/2020: Worship of Tools Day
347 - How did the Girl Scout earn her cooking badge? (1 min)
3/12/2020: Girl Scout’s Day
348 - What’s a snake’s favorite birthstone? (1 min)
3/13/2020: Jewel Day
349 - What do butterflies sleep on? (1 min)
3/14/2020: Learn About Butterflies Day
350 - What is a sheep’s favorite sports car? (1 min)
March 15, 2020
351 - How did the Panda get its dinner stolen? (1 min)
3/16/2020: Giant Panda Day
352 - Why shouldn’t you iron a 4 leaf clover? (1 min)
3/17/2020: St. Patrick’s Day
353 - What did the sunburn say to the other sunburn? (1 min)
March 18, 2020
354 - What is a baby chicken’s favorite game? (1 min)
3/19/2020: Poultry Day
355 - What do you call a snail that’s good at baseball? (1 min)
March 20, 2020
356 - Why aren’t Christmas trees good at sewing? (1 min)
3/21/2020: National Quilting Day
357 - What do cows like to use when they text? (1 min)
3/22/2020: National Goof Off Day
358 - What type of dog loves to shower? (1 min)
3/23/2020: National Puppy Day
359 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Luke! Luke who? (1 min)
March 24, 2020
360 - What did the waffle say to the waffle iron when it turned over? (1 min)
3/25/2020: Pecan Day/Waffle Day
361 - Did you hear about the scientist who only studies soda? (1 min)
3/26/2020: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
362 - Where do rabbits learn how to fly? (1 min)
March 27, 2020
363 - What do you say to a kebob when it’s being too loud? (1 min)
3/28/2020: Something on a Stick Day
364 - What do you call a little restaurant at the bottom of the ocean? (1 min)
3/29/2020: National Mom and Pop Business Owner Day
365 - Why did the house go to the doctor? (1 min)
3/30/2020: National Doctor’s Day
366 - Knock-knock! Who's there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? (1 min)
3/31/2020: Last Joke of the Day
