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HiLL-LaRRy-uS!
This is HiLL-LaRRy-uS, 366 days of jokes with silly BFFs Hillary and Larry. Join them as they share jokes, knock-knocks, puns and more. And you’ll always find them celebrating some fun holiday! Winner of a Parents' Choice Silver Award.
Month 1
1 - Are monsters any good at math? (1 min)
2 - What type of sandwiches do sharks eat? (1 min)
3 - Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party? (1 min)
4 - Why didn’t the poet finish her poem? (1 min)
5 - Where do dandelions send their kids to learn? (1 min)
6 - What does Hillary say to her watch when she sees it? (1 min)
7 - Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the gym? (1 min)
8 - Why do hummingbirds hum? (1 min)
9 - Knock Knock. Harry who? (1 min)
10 - What do camels use to hide themselves? (1 min)
11 - What did the taco say to the cat? (1 min)
12 - Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? (1 min)
13 - Did you hear the joke about the peach? (1 min)
14 - How do dolphins makes a tough decision? (1 min)
15 - Where does a cow hang her paintings? (1 min)
16 - Do you know what the librarian uses to catch fish? (1 min)
17 - Why did the vampire need mouthwash? (1 min)
18 - What kind of tree gives the best high fives? (1 min)
19 - What’s a penguin’s favorite relative? (1 min)
20 - Knock Knock. Spell who? (1 min)
21 - What’s a rabbit’s favorite type of music? (1 min)
22 - How can you tell if an ocean is friendly? (1 min)
23 - Why was the toilet paper roll worried? (1 min)
24 - Knock Knock. Doris who? (1 min)
25 - What’s Hillary's iguana’s favorite movie? (1 min)
26 - What’s a pretzel’s favorite dance move? (1 min)
27 - Which days are the strongest? (1 min)
28 - What’s a horse’s favorite sport? (1 min)
29 - What’s a King’s favorite type of weather? (1 min)
30 - Does February like March? (1 min)
Month 2
1 - What time is it when a rhinoceros sits on your bed? (1 min)
2 - Why did it take the piano player forever to unlock his door? (1 min)
3 - How do you know when a dog is getting dressed? (1 min)
4 - Why did Darth Vader cross the road? (1 min)
5 - What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? (1 min)
6 - Why does Hillary want to check out the hotel run by witches? (1 min)
7 - Which U.S. state has the most math teachers? (1 min)
8 - Why do nurses always carry red markers? (1 min)
9 - Did you hear what the hat said to the sock when they were out for a hike? (1 min)
10 - What do Pokemon do when they’re not listening to podcasts? (1 min)
11 - Do you know how trains prepare for a very long ride? (1 min)
12 - What do cats get their mothers for Mother’s Day? (1 min)
13 - What does the frog eat? (1 min)
14 - Why did the chicken cross the road? (1 min)
15 - Why does the basketball player like chocolate chip cookies? (1 min)
16 - How do trees browse the internet? (1 min)
17 - What is Larry's dog’s favorite type of pizza? (1 min)
18 - What does a triceratops sit on? (1 min)
19 - Why did the golfers go to the playground? (1 min)
20 - Why was the strawberry late to work? (1 min)
21 - Why did the canoe cross the lake? (1 min)
22 - Why did the turkey become a drummer? (1 min)
23 - When does it rain quarters? (1 min)
24 - How do snails send each other letters? (1 min)
25 - Why did the diver fall asleep at the swim meet? (1 min)
26 - What time do astronauts eat? (1 min)
27 - Why do bananas use sunscreen? (1 min)
28 - Why does Hillary get extra pickles on her burger? (1 min)
29 - What did the worm write on to write a letter? (1 min)
30 - What do you get when you plant kisses? (1 min)
31 - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? (1 min)
Month 3
1 - What did the ancient Romans use to cut string? (1 min)
2 - What’s Dracula’s favorite fruit? (1 min)
3 - Pete and Repeat went on a hike. Pete got lost. Who was left? (1 min)
4 - What’s Frankenstein’s favorite snack? (1 min)
5 - What’s the difference between weather and climate? (1 min)
6 - What goes BUZZZZZZ, ZZZZZUB, BUZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZUB? (1 min)
7 - What kind of donut can fly? (1 min)
8 - Why did the owl invite her friends over? (1 min)
9 - What did the rock say to the geologist? (1 min)
10 - Which seasoning is the worst at keeping secrets? (1 min)
11 - Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? (1 min)
12 - Did you hear about the peanut who went to space? (1 min)
13 - Did you hear the joke about the dull sewing needle? (1 min)
14 - Do you know what comes at the end of a rainbow? (1 min)
15 - Why didn’t the circus clown ever learn to juggle? (1 min)
16 - What’s a poop’s favorite dessert? (1 min)
17 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? (1 min)
18 - Why did the chef take a sushi-making class? (1 min)
19 - Why was the math book sad? (1 min)
20 - What do you call a chicken that tells jokes? (1 min)
21 - Why do oranges wear sunscreen at the beach? (1 min)
22 - What’s a monkey’s favorite type of cookie? (1 min)
23 - Where do crayons go on vacation? (1 min)
24 - Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool? (1 min)
25 - What starts and ends with an E, but contains only one letter? (1 min)
26 - What do you do with a sick boat? (1 min)
27 - What do you call a bear that wears sunglasses? (1 min)
28 - What did the noodle say to the other noodle? (1 min)
29 - What are two things you can’t eat for breakfast? (1 min)
30 - What’s an astronomer’s favorite thing to read? (1 min)
Month 4
1 - Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? (1 min)
2 - Why did the cow want to be an astronaut? (1 min)
3 - What’s invisible and smells like carrots? (1 min)
4 - Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? (1 min)
5 - What was Spiderman's job before he was a superhero? (1 min)
6 - Why do bicycles fall over? (1 min)
7 - What do you call a bear stuck in the rain? (1 min)
8 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? (1 min)
9 - Why do tigers have stripes? (1 min)
10 - Why do dragons sleep during the day? (1 min)
11 - What type of food is the bottom part of your leg? (1 min)
12 - What kind of dog makes the best magician? (1 min)
13 - How did the fry propose marriage to the burger? (1 min)
14 - What comes before tennis? (1 min)
15 - What do you call a cow that just had a baby? (1 min)
16 - How do you know if a snake loves you? (1 min)
17 - How do you make a hot dog stand? (1 min)
18 - What did the nut say when it sneezed? (1 min)
19 - What’s the best time to tell a lion joke? (1 min)
20 - What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom? (1 min)
21 - Why was the ice cream cone so bad at tennis? (1 min)
22 - What kind of music are balloons scared of? (1 min)
23 - What did the plate say to the fork? (1 min)
24 - What happens when you wear a watch on an airplane? (1 min)
25 - Why shouldn’t you tell jokes in a skating rink? (1 min)
26 - Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? (1 min)
27 - What do you call it when Larry wears cowboy clothes? (1 min)
28 - Do you know when ducks wake up in the morning? (1 min)
29 - Which side of a cheetah has the most spots? (1 min)
30 - Why did the mushroom have a lot of friends? (1 min)
31 - What do you call a fairy who needs a bath? (1 min)
Month 5
1 - Did you hear the joke about the mountain? (1 min)
2 - Knock-Knock! Who's there? Theodore! Theodore who? (1 min)
3 - Why did the clown-themed restaurant have to be shut down? (1 min)
4 - Why was the taste of the oatmeal raisin cookie so rich? (1 min)
5 - What does a cloud wear when it rains? (1 min)
6 - Why does a scientist always have fresh breath? (1 min)
7 - Knock-Knock! Who's there? Larry! Larry who? (1 min)
8 - What's a sea monster's favorite meal? (1 min)
9 - Why is a library always the tallest building in town? (1 min)
10 - Why did the camping trip seem so exhausting? (1 min)
11 - What time do chickens go to sleep? (1 min)
12 - What do you call two dentists who can't agree on anything? (1 min)
13 - Did you know Larry used to be ambidextrous? (1 min)
14 - What do you call a deer with no eyes? (1 min)
15 - Why didn't the mummy go on vacation? (1 min)
16 - How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? (1 min)
17 - Why couldn't the bee understand his friend? (1 min)
18 - How does a poet sneeze? (1 min)
19 - What do you call a potato that turns to the dark side? (1 min)
20 - What has antlers and sucks blood? (1 min)
21 - How do pandas keep cool in the summer? (1 min)
22 - Who leaves money when Bigfoot loses a tooth? (1 min)
23 - Why didn't the teddy bear want dessert? (1 min)
24 - What's a planet's favorite type of music? (1 min)
25 - What did one toilet say to the other toilet? (1 min)
26 - Where did the dog leave its car? (1 min)
27 - Knock-Knock! Who's there? Donut! Donut who? (1 min)
28 - Why did the coffee file a police report? (1 min)
29 - Why isn't there a clock in the library? (1 min)
August 29, 2019
30 - What do you call a really smart monster? (1 min)
8/30/2019: Frankenstein Day
31 - Why did the pig buy cake mix? (1 min)
8/31/2019 : International Bacon Day
Month 6
1 - How many months have 28 days? (1 min)
September 1, 2019
2 - Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? (1 min)
9/2/2019: Labor Day
3 - How does a penguin build its home? (1 min)
September 3, 2019
4 - What's black and white and red all over? (1 min)
9/4/2019 : Newspaper Carrier Day
5 - Did you hear about the hungry clock? (1 min)
9/5/2019 : Be Late for Something Day
6 - How does a witch tell time? (1 min)
September 6, 2019
7 - What do you call a pony who has a cough? (1 min)
September 7, 2019
8 - Knock Knock! Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? (1 min)
9/8/2019: Grandparent's Day
9 - How do you make a teddy bear? (1 min)
9/9/2019: Teddy Bear Day
10 - Why don't cows wear flip flops? (1 min)
9/10/2019 : Sewing Machine Day
11 - Do you know why taller people are more well rested? (1 min)
9/11/2019 : Make Your Bed Day
12 - Why are cats so good at video games? (1 min)
9/12/2019 : National Video Game Day
13 - Why was the giraffe late for school? (1 min)
September 13, 2019
14 - How does a crab pay for its groceries? (1 min)
9/14/2019 : International Crabfest Day
15 - What's a hat's favorite drink? (1 min)
9/15/2019 : Make a Hat Day
16 - What did the magician say when he pulled guacamole out of a hat? (1 min)
9/16/2019 : Guacamole Day
17 - Why aren’t tubas used in country music? (1 min)
9/17/2019: International Country Music Day
18 - Why is Peter Pan always flying? (1 min)
September 18, 2019
19 - Captain, what’s a pirate’s favorite letter? (1 min)
9/19/2019: International Talk Like a Pirate Day
20 - What do you call a fake pepperoni? (1 min)
9/20/2019 : National Pepperoni Pizza Day
21 - Why did Tarzan spend so much time playing miniature golf? (1 min)
9/21/2019 : Miniature Golf Day
22 - What do you call an elephant that never washes itself? (1 min)
9/22/2019: Elephant Appreciation Day
23 - How do you fix a broken pumpkin? (1 min)
24 - What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? (1 min)
25 - What’s the difference between Superman and a fly? (1 min)
26 - Why did the soldier flush the toilet? (1 min)
27 - How does a yeti get to school? (1 min)
28 - Why was the bowling alley closed indefinitely? (1 min)
29 - What has four wheels and flies? (1 min)
30 - What’s a tree’s least favorite month? (1 min)
Month 7
1 - What kind of tree can you grow in your hand? (1 min)
2 - What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the equipment closet? (1 min)
3 - What do you call a pig who knows karate? (1 min)
4 - How many golfers does it takes to change a light bulb? (1 min)
5 - What do English teachers eat for breakfast? (1 min)
6 - What color is a burp? (1 min)
7 - Why do seagulls live by the sea? (1 min)
8 - Why did the scarecrow win an award? (1 min)
9 - What do you call cheese that’s not yours? (1 min)
10 - What did the right eye say to the left eye? (1 min)
11 - What happens when you tell an egg a joke? (1 min)
12 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Loaf. Loaf who? (1 min)
13 - How do you make a fruit punch? (1 min)
14 - What’s the best thing to put into a pie? (1 min)
15 - Where do pencils go on vacation? (1 min)
16 - How do you define a shovel? (1 min)
17 - Where did the spaghetti go to dance? (1 min)
18 - What party game do fish like to play? (1 min)
19 - What goes up and down but does not move? (1 min)
20 - What did the stamp say to the envelope? (1 min)
21 - Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? (1 min)
22 - Why do ducks have tail feathers? (1 min)
23 - Did you hear the joke about the roof? (1 min)
24 - What did the angry customer say when he left the deli? (1 min)
25 - Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom? (1 min)
26 - What did the fisherman say to the magician? (1 min)
27 - Where do animals go when their tails fall off? (1 min)
28 - What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? (1 min)
29 - What do you call an alligator in a vest? (1 min)
30 - What kind of treat is a vegetable and candy? (1 min)
31 - Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? (1 min)
Month 8
1 - Where do sheep go to get their hair cuts? (1 min)
2 - What’s a kangaroo’s favorite music? (1 min)
3 - What’s the best food to eat at the beach? (1 min)
4 - What gets wet while it’s drying? (1 min)
5 - Why did the geometry teacher miss school? (1 min)
6 - Why did the cantaloupe jump into the ocean? (1 min)
7 - What’s a chalkboard’s favorite drink? (1 min)
8 - Why did the tongue grow up to be a fashion designer? (1 min)
9 - What did Mars say to Saturn? (1 min)
10 - What kind of key opens a banana? (1 min)
11 - Where can you watch the National Origami Championship? (1 min)
12 - How do stories stay warm in bed? (1 min)
13 - Do you know what event spiders love to attend? (1 min)
14 - How do campfires have access to the internet? (1 min)
15 - What are baby potatoes called? (1 min)
16 - What are the best days for fast food? (1 min)
17 - What rock group has four guys who can’t sing? (1 min)
18 - How do leaves get from place to place? (1 min)
19 - What time should you go to the dentist? (1 min)
20 - What do you say to a loud barking dog? (1 min)
21 - What did the horse say when the other horse took his food? (1 min)
22 - Do you know what kind of dinosaur always worries? (1 min)
23 - How does Darth Vader like his coffee? (1 min)
24 - Why did the beekeeper have sticky hair? (1 min)
25 - Why did the vampire go to the doctor? (1 min)
26 - What do you call a flying skunk? (1 min)
27 - Why did the customer go on the roof of the restaurant? (1 min)
28 - What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? (1 min)
29 - What animals roam the bowling alley? (1 min)
30 - How does the sky wrap a present? (1 min)
Month 9
1 - What did the quiet apple say to the loud apple? (1 min)
2 - What did the duck eat for lunch? (1 min)
3 - Why do you think construction workers are fun to party with? (1 min)
4 - What type of shoes do mice wear? (1 min)
5 - What type of bird steals soap from the bath? (1 min)
6 - Why did the hamburger want to be president? (1 min)
7 - How does cotton candy stay warm in the winter? (1 min)
8 - What a frog’s favorite year? (1 min)
9 - What kind of flower likes to sleep during the day? (1 min)
10 - What kind of car does a cool cat drive? (1 min)
11 - What do you call an old snowman? (1 min)
12 - Why did the gingerbread man go to the school nurse? (1 min)
13 - Where do horses live? (1 min)
14 - What type of monkey likes seafood? (1 min)
15 - What do lawyers wear to work? (1 min)
16 - Why did the donut visit the dentist? (1 min)
17 - Why did the plane get all dressed up before taking off? (1 min)
18 - What do you call a cow in a tornado? (1 min)
19 - What do evergreen trees wear to the pool? (1 min)
20 - Why does the musician only perform in the winter? (1 min)
21 - Where does a snowman find the latest weather reports? (1 min)
22 - What did the dreidel say when he finally found his friends? (1 min)
23 - Why don’t karate instructors like sad movies? (1 min)
24 - What does Jack Frost like best about school? (1 min)
25 - Why is it so cold on Christmas morning? (1 min)
26 - What’s a boxer’s favorite drink? (1 min)
27 - How do billboards talk? (1 min)
28 - Why do dogs always know who’s calling? (1 min)
29 - What happens when a frog parks illegally? (1 min)
30 - What do you call a pig who plays basketball? (1 min)
31 - What is a cow’s favorite holiday? (1 min)
Month 10
1 - Where does a mathematician ring in the new year? (1 min)
2 - How do you get a baby alien to stop crying? (1 min)
3 - What did the king’s guard wear to bed? (1 min)
4 - Do you know what kind of bug loves to ride roller coasters? (1 min)
5 - What’s a bird’s favorite game? (1 min)
6 - Why can’t you trust a burrito? (1 min)
7 - How do geologists like to relax? (1 min)
8 - How do you know if a chicken likes classical music? (1 min)
9 - Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? (1 min)
10 - What did the big flower say to the small flower? (1 min)
11 - What do you call a snail on a ship? (1 min)
12 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Amish. Amish who? (1 min)
13 - How do glue sticks taste food? (1 min)
14 - What did the dog waiter say to his customers when he brought out their food? (1 min)
15 - What did the step say to the other step? (1 min)
16 - Why aren’t there clocks in the library? (1 min)
17 - What do Benjamin Franklin and a duck have in common? (1 min)
18 - What does an English teacher love to bake? (1 min)
19 - Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army? (1 min)
20 - Why did the DJ try to fly? (1 min)
21 - What did the Dalmatian say after it finished lunch? (1 min)
22 - What do you call 2 ears that are best friends? (1 min)
23 - What did the evil pen say to the paper? (1 min)
24 - What did the lion say to his best friend? (1 min)
25 - Why did the spider use the computer? (1 min)
26 - Where do you learn to make banana splits? (1 min)
27 - What do you call a tired pea? (1 min)
28 - What did the kazoo say to its friend when he sneezed? (1 min)
29 - Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? (1 min)
30 - What did the croissant say when he was mad at his friend? (1 min)
31 - What school supply is always tired? (1 min)
Month 11
1 - What’s a deer’s favorite ice cream flavor? (1 min)
2 - Where does a groundhog go when it’s sick? (1 min)
3 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? (1 min)
4 - What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has millions of letters? (1 min)
5 - Why do birds make the best spies? (1 min)
6 - What do cats like to eat on a hot summer day? (1 min)
7 - Why do trains like gum so much? (1 min)
8 - What’s the best day of the week to fly a kite? (1 min)
9 - What did the pizza say when it introduced itself? (1 min)
10 - What goes up when the rain comes down? (1 min)
11 - What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? (1 min)
12 - Do you know why he got his nickname, Honest Abe? (1 min)
13 - Why are magicians such great students? (1 min)
14 - Hey, what did one volcano say to the other? (1 min)
15 - How does a mummy start a letter? (1 min)
16 - Where do saplings go to school? (1 min)
17 - How do you keep bagels from getting stolen? (1 min)
18 - What did the negative battery say to the other? (1 min)
19 - What is a monster’s favorite type of cookie? (1 min)
20 - What kind of lizard always tells jokes? (1 min)
21 - What do you call a cinnamon bun that does well in school? (1 min)
22 - What do you call George Washington’s false teeth? (1 min)
23 - Why are tennis games always so loud? (1 min)
24 - Why don’t shrimp like basketball? (1 min)
25 - What do you get when you cross a bike and a flower? (1 min)
26 - What does Princess Ariel like to put on her toast? (1 min)
27 - What do you call a polar bear that likes to skate? (1 min)
28 - What dinosaur has the cleanest teeth? (1 min)
29 - What do surgeons perform on Leap Day? (1 min)
Month 12
1 - What do pigs put on their boo boos? (1 min)
2 - Which punctuation mark runs the fastest? (1 min)
3 - What is a finger’s favorite fairy tale? (1 min)
4 - Why did the rooster cross the road? (1 min)
5 - What did the genie say to the basketball player? (1 min)
6 - How long should you put frozen fish in the microwave? (1 min)
7 - Who is the smartest pig in the world? (1 min)
8 - What’s a tree’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast? (1 min)
9 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? June! June who? (1 min)
10 - What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? (1 min)
11 - What tool does a mathematician always use? (1 min)
12 - How did the Girl Scout earn her cooking badge? (1 min)
13 - What’s a snake’s favorite birthstone? (1 min)
14 - What do butterflies sleep on? (1 min)
15 - What is a sheep’s favorite sports car? (1 min)
16 - How did the Panda get its dinner stolen? (1 min)
17 - Why shouldn’t you iron a 4 leaf clover? (1 min)
18 - What did the sunburn say to the other sunburn? (1 min)
19 - What is a baby chicken’s favorite game? (1 min)
20 - What do you call a snail that’s good at baseball? (1 min)
21 - Why aren’t Christmas trees good at sewing? (1 min)
22 - What do cows like to use when they text? (1 min)
23 - What type of dog loves to shower? (1 min)
24 - Knock-knock! Who’s there? Luke! Luke who? (1 min)
25 - What did the waffle say to the waffle iron when it turned over? (1 min)
26 - Did you hear about the scientist who only studies soda? (1 min)
27 - Where do rabbits learn how to fly? (1 min)
28 - What do you say to a kebob when it’s being too loud? (1 min)
29 - What do you call a little restaurant at the bottom of the ocean? (1 min)
30 - Why did the house go to the doctor? (1 min)
31 - Knock-knock! Who's there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? (1 min)
32 - Like Hill-Larry-Us? Try these. (1 min)
Hill-Larry-Us: Word of the Day, ExtraBLURT, Don't Break the Rules